Rossi Ramblings: Try, Try Again.

I have been asked questions by friends and acquaintances regarding breastfeeding on multiple occasions, and I must tell you that I love it! It's definitely a passion of mine, and I feel totally comfortable sharing information. While pregnant, I read a lot and the past 16 months I have read even more articles, research, books, and talked to other successful nursing Mothers for more information and advice. Let me just put it to you this way...I'm the girl in high school who liked research papers. I may have complained about them to fit in, but I liked them. I have blogged before about finding the right balance between research and common sense instinctual parenting. I can truly sit here today and tell you that I feel confident in my parenting, specifically with breastfeeding. Of course, I still have questions, sometimes daily! I am NOT perfect, and I am NOT always right. But I can tell you that there are some facts that I am sure of, because I have done the leg work. With that being said, here is some information, resources, websites, and my own advice for those who have tried and failed, those who are curious, or those who just want inside my brain for a while. (That's a scary thought...haha) Most specifically, this was inspired by a friend who has a few kiddos and breastfeeding did not work out as she had hoped. She asked for advice, and this blog was inspired by her. We all know the saying "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again". That's a great mantra for parenting and breastfeeding! Just keep going. Just keep trying. There's always a solution. This blog post will include lots of links. I highly recommend you take the time to read them! They will go along and support all I have to say, and provide you with excellent factual information as well as much needed support.

If you feel like a "breastfeeding failure" take the time to read this: ARTICLE

Before I begin, let me make something perfectly clear. If you formula fed your children, that is your choice to do so, and I by no means ever want to sound judgemental or offensive. It is a highly personal journey, and I respect all Mothers. Period. If you want to know exactly how I feel on the subject of navigating the territory of bottle feeding vs breastfeeding read: THIS.

Let's start with the facts. Read: THIS article on the amazing, wonderful facts and benefits of breast milk. Get inspired and excited! Breast milk has absolutely everything your child needs to not only survive, but THRIVE for the first year of life. They do not need any supplemental foods for the first year, only the "good stuff". The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first year of life, and beyond that if child and Mother mutually desire. Introducing solids is not recommended until six months of age. Formula cannot, and will not ever duplicate what God has made. Contrary to what many nurses and doctors will tell you, your newborn does NOT need to supplement. Here's the basic rule of thumb to repeat to yourself over, and over, and over again whenever you think that your newborn is not getting enough milk:
If they are eating a lot, pooping a lot, and peeing a lot: THEY ARE FINE. Even after birth in the hospital, regardless of what the crabby 70 year old nurses tell you, your child does NOT need formula. They have everything they need to survive and only need a tiny bit of your milk, which begins as colostrum. Their tummies are literally the size of a marble. There is a reason why newborns spit up constantly when immediately given a 4 ounce bottle! Their tummies simply cannot handle it. An absolute must read for any Mother who intends to breastfeed is:

I highly recommend reading this book, specifically for how to breastfeed immediately after birth. This will walk you through the importance of skin to skin contact immediately after birth, proper latch on, and it will reassure you that you, as Mommy have everything you need to sustain your child. Your milk will not "come in" for a couple days. That's fine! Your baby is fine. Just keep nursing. The colostrum provides all they need, and trust me...when your milk comes in, you'll know it! This book will guide you through the first few weeks, and then some. Just buy it. You'll need it time and time again. Also, read: THIS blog on the normal behaviors of a breastfeeding newborn. Actually, don't just read it. Print it out and tape it somewhere. You'll need it at 4am when you're frustrated. ;-) Also, in the hospital, make your wants known and remember, you are BOTH learning how to do this for the first time! It is a process, and will not happen right away. Don't give up. Calvin and I had a hard time figuring out how to get him to latch on, so a wonderful nurse helped me pump and put some colostrum in a syringe for him. By the next day, we got it! Nothing worth doing is easy, my friends.

I nursed Calvin about every two hours for the majority of his infancy. We didn't adhere to a "schedule", that's just how it worked for us. Most newborns do need to eat every couple of hours, and as most Moms know...they will wake you up and let you know! At night, just sleep. Sleep when baby sleeps, and feed when baby's up! Pump to avoid engorgement, and freeze or refrigerate the milk. Read THIS information on proper storage of breast milk. The reason why your baby wants to nurse so much is normal, and it's simple: they're hungry and they are fulfilling their instinctual desire to suckle. (Not to mention all the hormones that are released intended to relax, soothe, boost supply, and nurture your child!) The more you nurse, the more you will produce! Don't worry about low supply unless your child is losing weight. Unless you have a medical issue, if you nurse your baby often, and they are gaining weight, pooping and peeing well...you are on the road to success. Your baby doesn't need a bottle. I understand it's painful at first, TRUST ME. Just keep going. Bleeding, cracked, and painful nipples are normal for the first couple weeks. Just power through it. Nipple shields also help immensely to reduce pain, or if your baby will not latch on. Pure lanolin is a God-send. Use it liberally before and after nursing. Also, apply cool compress to ease discomfort. Use warm compress to help with painful engorgement. The solution for almost EVERY breastfeeding hurdle is: Nurse More, Nurse Often, and Just Keep Going. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, the pain will go away. I promise! I also HIGHLY recommend meeting with a lactation consultant. Every hospital has one, and you can call them night and day for advice or questions. Do not let a little problem turn into a bigger one. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse, and you need to rely on the experts to help you navigate the tough times. Your OB and pediatrician are NOT lactation experts. For breastfeeding questions, you should rely on a lactation consultant. If it is a medical concern or issue, they will refer you to your doctor. Again, nothing worth doing comes easy, and several months from now, nipple pain will be the last thing on your mind. There's nothing wrong with pumping a bottle and letting Dad take a turn, either! Just make sure you nurse extra or pump to keep up your supply when baby has a bottle. My rule was always, if I'm physically here, I nurse him.

What If:

~You have to go to school, or work. It is Federal law that employers and schools provide nursing Mothers with a private space to pump that is not a restroom. I also recommend buying a high quality electric breast pump. Medela and Avent are the two best brands. Yes, the best ones are expensive. Think about it this way: What you will spend one time on a breast pump is what some people spend for one month's worth (or less) of formula. You can also find them on Ebay, or collect coupons for Babies R Us or Target. I saved giftcards and coupons and got a great deal on mine. Also, pay extra for the warranty and buy a car adapter. I cannot even tell you how many times I have pumped in my car!

~ You're self conscious. Simple...buy a nursing cover. I use my cover all the time, usually for when I pump in the car. They are super cute and affordable. Go to Uddercovers.com for some great ones, or you can also find them at most baby product stores. Also, you don't have to explain what you're doing to anyone. If you're at someone's home, just ask for a private space to nurse or use your cover.

~You face criticism. Be confident, respectful, and polite. You'd be surprised at how many people act critical because they are truly ignorant and just lack information. Also, you don't have to explain anything if you choose. It's your body and it's your child.

~I'm so busy and on the go. Umm..have you met me? I work full time, and not at a bank, people...I drive all over the state, I have to testify at court hearings, and I also take care of my three nephews plus my own child. There's so much I could write on this, but I'll keep it simple. You will figure out what works best for you. I've found that nursing is easier for my lifestyle. I don't have to mix bottles, heat bottles, or worry about running out of formula. When I'm at work, I pump 2-3 times (it's slowing down now) and save the milk accordingly for the next day. I am also so grateful for the money I have saved my family. I've nursed or pumped for Calvin wherever we go and I'm still modest and private.

~I want to eat and drink whatever I want. I drink and eat pretty much whatever I want. Enough said. I limit caffeine to one cup of coffee per day, and of course you cannot consume alchohol in excess while nursing. When it comes to presriptions or over the counter meds, just look it up or ask your doctor if its safe while nursing.

Ok. That was a lot of information, but honestly I could write so much more! Now I'm going to talk about worst case scenario...for some reason, somehow, it's not working for you. You've tried what you feel is everything. You've come close to giving up, but you don't want to. You can pump, and feed your baby breastmilk in a bottle! I know Mothers who have done this, and are quite proud of it! You can also milkshare. You would be so surprised to see all the women willing to donate their milk to Mothers who are struggling. It is simply as easy as connecting with organizations online or on Facebook. Read Michelle's: blog about her journey. It is inspiring, and amazing. Formula is an option, of course. You can combination feed, which is both formula and breastmilk. ANY breastmilk is good for your child. If you've decided to stop nursing altogether, that's ok too. Just be proud of what you HAVE done!

Although there are justified and valid reasons for not being able to breastfeed, I promise you that the average woman CAN do it. YOU can do it, you can power through the rough spots, and you can succeed! If it wasn't worth it, would I still be doing it at 16 months while working full time? It's an amazing experience and totally worth it. Dare I say it, but it's easy now! After you and your child learn how to do it, it becomes second nature. Did I mention we sleep well most nights and all I have to do is roll over and feed him? Calvin has never been seriously ill, thank GOD, and he is so happy with our life. I could type all day about why you should do it, and how you should do it, but it is up to you to determine what works best for you. My email address is amandaelio@comcast.net. I'd be happy to help or assist anyone who has questions, concerns, fears, doubts, or additional information.

I will leave you with some of the absolute best websites to bookmark on your computer:

www.kellymom.com [Reference this site for literally every question, concern, or fact. Managed by a lactation consultant, this site is excellent and accurate]