Life doesn't wait.

The past few months have been a whirlwind. I have barely had time to sit down at the end of the day let alone journal, blog, or even catch up with friends!

Well, life doesn't wait. It just keeps going, and I've just been hanging on for the ride.

This pregnancy has been quite hard. I was sick for 17 weeks, and once I began to feel better I was bigger and the back pain, ligament pain, and heartburn kicked in. Although I had morning sickness and all the "usual" pregnancy symptoms with Calvin, this pregnancy has taken it to a whole other level. Chasing around a 2 year old while pregnant does not allow much time to put your feet up and rest, either.

We found out we were having a girl on February 7, 2013! I knew something was different about this pregnancy, but I've always heard 2nd ones are harder than the 1st. I was just SURE that we would have nothing but boys! I'd only looked at boy names, and hadn't even dared to venture into the pink side of the clothing stores. Well, we were just blown away by our ultrasound when the tech said "Looks like girl stuff!" I went to the bathroom and cried afterwards: relief that the baby was healthy, and just joy that God is blessing us with a girl to add to our family.

The baby moves all the time, and she is healthy as can be. Mom? Well...let's just say I don't really have a pregnancy "glow" this time around. Two hospital trips so far, lots of prescriptions, one upper respitory infection, the stomach flu, all while working full time and regular family responsibilites. Did I mention I've been traveling to Indy each month for Supervisor workshops? My maternity leave will be well earned, my friends.

But I am endlessly grateful to be pregnant, to be having another baby, and we are all so excited to meet this little girl. Calvin knows it's his baby sister and says that Mommy has a baby girl in her belly. He is learning lullabies, and likes to sing "Rockabye baby" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". He is also learning "Jesus Loves Me". He's continuing to amaze us with new phrases, silly dances, and I love our conversations. His imagination is WILD and VIVID, and he tells us some pretty intersesting stories. He regularly rides rocket ships, has an irrational fear of alligators (who I have to tell to go away and ask their Mommies to pick them up), he finds Pumas (yes, as in mountain lions) in our home, and when he pretends to be Buzz Lightyear he takes it very, very seriously. He now tells us "I'm just pretending, Mommy" as if we are so silly to believe him sometimes. He talks to his toys, plays so well, and loves to just be a boy. He went through a very rough stage where everything was "I don't wanna". Tantrums, crying, meltdowns...UGH! It was not fun. He's gotten better the past few weeks and I think my sweet boy is back.

Last night, for example I said "Calvin,  you're my sweet boy". He says "Mommy, you're my good girl" and hugged me so tight.

He loves to pray and read the Bible, and loves church. His heart is so tender and precious, and makes up for all the times that he's bad. Because trust me, he definitely has his moments! We now count to 3, have time outs, and remove toys for punishment. Potty training is going well, but going number 2 is not on his agenda. We will wait for him to be ready. :) Sticker charts have been working, and he loves to put the sticker on the chart himself.

Calvin has been weaned for a long while now, and he did it on his own timing. Child led weaning really does work, and kids do not nurse until they're teens. I feel like this is too personal of a journey for me to be detailed about, but it was a slow, gradual process with hardly any tears. Well, maybe some for me. Just like with everything I've tried to do with parenting, I followed my instincts and his cues, and he really is a healthy, well attached, social, happy little guy.

The theme of this pregnancy and the past few months really has been for me to let go. Let go of the fact that I haven't had time to detail every minute of this pregnancy, let go of the crazy piles of laundry, the lack of baby stuff (even though I'm in my 3rd trimester now...holy cow), and let go of the fact that I simply cannot do everything. I have had to force myself to let go of to do lists, cleaning, and even work, and just, well, rest.

The current kicking in my belly is the best reminder of what is important...

Here are some of my pregnancy must haves for anyone who cares or needs to buy a gift for a pregnant Mama!

Bio Oil- sold at Walgreens and Target. It's to prevent and treat stretchmarks, scars, imperfections, etc. I used it while pregnant with Calvin and am using it now. It's expensive, but a little goes a long way and it lasts for a long time. It's amazing!

Belly Band- Target. It's a stretchy band that goes over your current clothes so you can wear them unbuttoned and save lots of money on maternity pants. It provides extra support too.

Maternity Camisole-Spend the 20 bucks. I wear it every day, and got mine, at yep, you guessed it: Target.

Calvin's Corner

So Calvin is almost 27 months old! Since baby number two is joining our family in the summertime, I thought it would be a good idea to designate posts to help me always remember some of the funny things our boy is saying and doing lately...

Brandon: "I love you, Calvin"
Calvin: "No, Bubba. Only Mom loves me"

Calvin: "Mom, there's a hair in your mouth! (Gently gets it for me) There you go. Mom, you're a gurrrl."

Me: "Calvin, be careful. There's a baby in my belly."
Calvin: "There's macaroni in MY belly!"
Calvin: "Mom, you got a new shirt?" (And yes, it was the first time I had worn a new sweater)
Me: "Yes, buddy, do you like it?"
Calvin: "Yes, it's nice Mom."

Calvin: "Mom, I want my leap pad!"
Me: "Calvin, it's in the car, and it's dark outside. You'll have to wait until tomorrow."
Calvin: "I'll get it! I'll use my sunglasses! I can see with my eyes."

Calvin, noticing his broken bathtub toy container in the kitchen: "Daddy fix that? My toy box broken. Daddy needs glue?"

Calvin at dinnertime at my parents' house: "Papa Clark, you pray? Pray to Jesus? Now read the Bible."

Calvin joining a conversation his Nana was having, "You go to school? I have a backpack at my house!"

Of course Calvin's words are still very much that of a toddler, but we can almost always understand. It's funny when we can't, he will say the word or phrase very slowly...almost like Mom and Dad are just dumb and don't get it. ;)

My favorites are still "I'm Calvin Rossi!" and I just love how he is generous with giving us kisses now, like real little boy kisses which are thought out and sweet. He also now answers excitedly when asked how old he is, "Me 2!" (We're still working on pronouns...)

He really is quite talkative, and we are always having conversations with him. Potty training is, well, um, taking time. Let's just leave it at that for now shall we ;) Discipline is not fun for any of us, but Calvin is definitely pushing boundaries and learning what he can and cannot do. He does get very upset when redirected or when he knows he has done something mean. Sleep is still an adventure with him, as it always has been. The boy does not like to go to bed, and if given the option would just stay up playing all night. We still have the same structured bedtime routine, and when it's time to sleep, it's lights off and go to bed! He is so lazy in the mornings, and sometimes sleeps until 9:30. During the week, he always wants "A few more minutes" or "I'm not ready yet". I wonder where he heard that...

that's all for now. I could go on for days. We love our silly little man.

{Reflect}

I cannot believe another year has passed! This past year has been filled with busy days, hard days, happy days, and everything in between. If I have learned one thing in 2012, it's that the only thing permanent is change. God has really thrown our family into some new and exciting situations, and the overarching theme has truly been to let go and trust Him. He truly wants total dependance, utter reliance, and selfless service. Trust me, I am fully aware of how much work I need to do and how much further I need to go in my personal growth and change! The past few months, I have had some hard decisions to make, some major life changes, and questions about the future...but throughout each day, each moment, each breath, God is still good.
Here are some of the footnotes of 2012:
-Calvin found his voice. Although Calvin was quite the talker early on, he really took off this year. Full sentences are the norm, and he surprises us each day with hilarious new vocabularly.
-We worked, we worked, and we worked some more! Our schedules were quite busy, and Elio's schedule kept him going. We were able to fit in some really great little trips and had a great family vacation to South Carolina. We got to visit with my amazing life long friend Bonnie and we all had a great time! Summer was fun for Calvin, and he discovered a great love for the beach!
-Calvin got really, really sick for the first time. We powered through THREE stomach viruses, each lasting about a week long and sending us to urgent care on two occasions. I know it's part of life and parenting, but it was quite difficult and I hope that we don't get hit back to back like that ever again.
-Calvin turned 2! Calvin's second birthday was quite emotional as he is turning into a little boy right before our very eyes. His party was huge success, and great memories were made. We had a GREAT fall season complete with apple orchard trips, pumpkins, trick or treating, and craft time.
-Babies, babies, babies! My friends all seem to be sprouting new little angels in their families, and current babies are turning into toddlers. So many little ones turned "1" this year, and I just love watching my sweet friends' babies grow up.
-We became members of our church. This was a very special day which we took very seriously. We love our church family and we are getting to know more great people in our church. Calvin adores church, and loves to socialize.
-I found out I was pregnant!! I am due in June, and we got to hear a heartbeat and see that our baby is healthy on an 11 week ultrasound. We always wanted to add to our family. I was very, very sick for several weeks which was hard on everyone. I am still struggling at times with feeling sick, but it is improving.
-Elio lost his job. This was a huge blow to us that took place right before the holidays, a couple weeks prior to Thanksgiving to be exact and right around the time I found out about our new upcoming addition. This was a huge trusting moment for us as the way he lost his job was upsetting to us both.
-I got a promotion! I have accepted the fact (somewhat begrudgingly, I might add) that for this time in my life, I must be a working Mom. I am good at my job, and I am passionate about my career. The pull between home and work has always strained me, but I am getting better at letting go and trusting that God wants me where I am, and that is just the way it is.
-I finished a semester of graduate school...barely. It was tough, and different, and a huge time management struggle, but I did it. I finished well and I have decided to take some time off from this venture. "Success" to me is serving God and making sure my family is intact, and that is my priority at this point. Although I enjoyed working on the projects and papers, and got some accolades for my work...it took precious time away from my loved ones which is already too few and far between in my opinion. So, this was a hard decision but I've decided to put this on hold.
-Elio got a new job! God provided (quickly!) and Elio got a new job through his union. We are still adjusting which is not easy, but we are grateful nonetheless.
-I took time off-just to be OFF. I've NEVER been off the weeks of Christmas and New Years. I am pretty sure I've worked them (except for the holidays themselves) since I was 16! I took several days off, and relaxed with my family. I also got quite a lot done around the house. It felt fantastic, and I hope I can do this every year. My favorite moments have included sleeping late with Calvin, indulgent breakfasts, coffee on the couch, and lots of time wearing yoga pants and my bathrobe.
-Christmastime was near perfection and it was bliss watching Calvin and the boys sparkle with excitement. Calvin learned the Christmas story, and he melted our hearts with his "Merry Christmas!" and his rendition of "Jingle Bells". He loved talking about baby Jesus, and just adored all the Christmas lights and festivities. His favorite present is Woody, from Toy Story. This past holiday season, he also took on his identity, which is a vehement "I'm Calvin Rossi!!" He tells everyone his name, and loves knowing just exactly who he is!

Well, this is a long blog to make up for lost time, and I'll leave you with some of my goals and aspirations for 2013
~Let go. I can't blog often, I don't scrapbook as much, and I hardly journal lately. It's more important to play cars with Calvin, snuggle on the couch, and do that load of laundry. I will do those things when I can, but I am realizing its more important to live IN the moment than obsess over documenting the moment.
~I'm a working Mom, and that's just what I'm called to be at this point in my life! I'm going to do my best to excel at my career, and 2013 will be no different in that I still prioritize my life in this way: God, family, work. In that order, always. Friends and extended family are in there too of course, but that is just reality and it always will be.
~Have more lazy days. Do nothing sometimes. Being sick this pregnancy has literally forced me to let go of a lot of the scheduling, cleaning, and to-do lists. It's been against my nature and very hard, but it has taught me a valuable lesson. It's ok to delegate and sometimes it's necessary. It's also ok to let things be dirty sometimes. (Gasp!)
~Work harder on my marriage and spend more quality time with Elio.
~Plan special Mommy and Calvin time to get him prepared for his new sibling.
~Spend more time in God's word, connecting with people at our church, and focusing on what is truly important.
~Update this BLOG & work on some more of my personal interests.
~Have more girl time and visits with friends. With jobs, kids, schedules, and life in general, it's hard to have that quality friend time...but it is necessary and I need more of it.


I am sure there are lots of  goals and accomplishments that I could or should be working on, but that's it for now! Happy New Year!

TWO!

Calvin is TWO! I absolutely cannot believe that our little baby has turned into a full fledged boy. It amazes us how smart he is, and we truly had a blast celebrating his second birthday! His party was Curious George themed, and I had so much fun getting everything together! With working full time and balancing our busy lives, a fun party is the ultimate celebration and fun time to get together with family and friends... and BOY does Calvin have friends! I am so blessed to have lots of friends who showered Calvin with love, affection, and...toys. :) He is one fortunate little fella. His party was the weekend before his actual birthday which falls on Halloween. (I always knew he'd surprise us, and his entrance into this world was full of drama just like him!) His party was a success, but my stubborn boy refused to nap before hand and crashed shortly after the gifts were opened. Either way, we had a great time! I took the day off on Calvin's actual birthday to spend quality time with him all day. It was great because we did nothing but play, read books, and watch his favorite shows. Later that day we went trick or treating with Jimmy and Logan! They had a great time, and Calvin LOVED it. He said "Trick or Treat!" at each house, and "Thank you!" He got a lot of candy which Mom and Dad are enjoying still. ;) Afterwards, we went to our church's harvest party. Calvin is the only toddler, and so he got to hang out with all the big kids. He loved watching them play games and he joined them in eating pizza.
Calvin is doing everything for his age and so much more. He amazes us. Elio and I always joked that he'd be smarter than us by the time he was two, and I think we were right! Calvin's verbal skills and the things he picks up on are what impress us the most. Our conversations with him are hilarious. He speaks in sentences, runs, jumps, skips, and does his "exercises" which include a silly yoga pose and push ups. Calvin loves trains, cars, and playing with Jimmy and Logan. He's a lazy boy in the morning, and loves to sleep in. When he's ready to get up he says "I'm ready to go downstairs and watch a show!" He gets to cuddle on the couch for a while in the mornings and watch one of his favorite shows. Calvin is eating better, but oh man, he loves junk food! We offer him everything, but he has a certain affection for the junkier foods. He's getting so big, too...he really looks like a two year old! Here are some highlights from his birthday week:

 

Juggle

Lately I've been wondering how long I can keep juggling it all.

HOME. {My favorite place to be} Calvin. Elio. Brandon. Pets. Laundry, Groceries, Meals, Cleanings, Homework, Bills, Budgets, Receipts, Phonecalls, Texts, Calendars, Scheduling, Doctor, Dentist, Eyes, Cars.
WORK. 40ish hours M-F. Intense. Demanding. 100's of phonecalls, emails, & reports. Emergencies,Customer service, Scheduling, Calendars, Stress, Rewarding, Fulfilling, Happy endings, Sad endings, Career, Respect, Validation.
FAMILY. Sports, Phonecalls, Emails, Dinners, Homework, Church, Stress, Love.
CHURCH. Serving, Lesson Planning, Attendance, Second Family.
SCHOOL. Discussion Boards, Papers, Reading, Typing, Emails, Validation, Networking, Future.

ME: Shower? Clothes? Hair? Eat? {if I have time}

FRIENDS: Facebook, Texts, Phonecalls, Cards, Gifts, Time to have fun...

Don't get me wrong~ I LIKE staying busy, and I cannot sit still for long. I am always doing several things at once, making lists, and planning. I also know when to say "NO" and I have said "YES" to most things that I'm currently doing because I enjoy them and want to do them.

The problem keeps coming back to one thing on the above list: Work.

It's been obvious that I may/need/should leave my 9-5 job behind to focus full time on family, church, and furthering my education so that I can have a more peaceful career in the future.

It's just a matter of when & how. I'm still trusting. Juggling all these plates is wearing on me, but I'm going to power through. I always have, and I always will.

I just hope I don't drop any plates. No one likes a circus act that flops.

Vacation!

In July, we had our first official family vacation! We've taken plenty of trips here there and everywhere, but they've always been long weekends or trips to visit family. We planned our trip for awhile and it took us a long time to decide where to go. We went to Charleston, South Carolina, which is a place very dear to us. Elio and I have been there before, and we instantly fell in love with it. The history, the ocean, the people...it's just wonderful! We always talked about how we wanted to go back and stay for a few days. We went to the Charleston Harbor Resort and Marina, which is a beautiful place! The trip down took about 13-14 hours, so we stopped overnight in Tennessee. I prepared an arsenal of activities to keep Calvin entertained in the car...books, coloring, toys, snacks, music, and my not-so-secret weapon: a DVD player. He did great!
The first couple days we relaxed, swam, and just enjoyed the hotel and the nearby restaurants. The third day we went to the South Carolina Aquarium in down town Charleston which was AMAZING! It was hands down the favorite part of our trip. Calvin was mesmerized and beyond excited! He kept yelling "Whoa, WOW!" We had a great time and left just as a storm was rolling in.
After checking out of our hotel, we headed to Greenville, SC to visit my long time best friend, Bonnie. She had never met Calvin, and it was so special. Bonnie and her husband Jason opened their home to us, and we had an absolutely wonderful time with them! They got a crash course in what it's like to have a baby. haha! They gave us a tour of down town Greenville, which is GORGEOUS, and we had a delicious dinner. The next day, after a breakfast from our hostess, we headed home. We ended up driving straight home. It was a very long day, but we were ready to get back to our little house in Indiana.
Traveling with a little one taught me a lot...and taught me to let go! I had so many things planned, and I literally had an itinerary. Well, that went out the window really quick. I learned to just relax, unwind, and enjoy each moment. We took lots of stops on the way there and back, and let Calvin run around and enjoy each stop. Calvin enjoyed hillbilly gas stations just as much as the resort! Haha. Although we missed the boys and our families, we had a great time and can't wait for our next family vacation.

Surviving Sickies

We've been really blessed that Calvin has been such a healthy boy. Up until a couple months ago, he only had sniffles and teething symptoms. In May (the same week as my car accident, go figure) he got an awful stomach flu that lasted for a solid week. It was the first time we had ever seen him that sick, and it was super scary. We did end up taking him to the ER just to make sure it wasn't anything more than a virus. After a week he was himself again, but it was a rough week!

A couple weeks ago, he got another stomach virus which lasted 3-4 days and wasn't nearly as bad as the first one. The poop issues were the worst part, and his poor little bum was pretty sore. He had some more symptoms today which was not fun, but he already seems better and is sound asleep. I'm hoping it was just that nasty virus leaving his system-hopefully for good!

Here are my tips for surviving the sickies with a toddler!

-Put your game face on. Just face it that you're not going anywhere. Cancel plans, and put on your sweats.
-Toddlers really cannot tell you when they are going to throw up, so I prefer to leave Calvin in his diaper and just surround him with towels and cover the couch with sheets.
-If it's a really bad virus, camp out in the living room. We don't have a bathroom upstairs, so if we all sleep downstairs, we can throw him in the tub to clean up...even if it's 2am.
-Even if you don't cloth diaper or have no desire to, I strongly suggest buying one with some inserts just for times like these. It's easier to tell if they are having wet diapers (the tell tale sign that they are not dehydrated) and they are a life saver for a sore, raw bum! Poor Calvin's bum was so sore that he was crying really hard at diaper changes, and the cloth diapers made him so much more comfortable.
-For a raw, red, sore bum from what we call "hurty poopies" (WOW I am such a Mom) I used A&D ointment and a cornstarch baby powder. It did the trick!
-Clorox wipes are my best friend during times like this. They work wonders for cleaning up puke and sanitize at the same time!
-There's NOTHING you can give your child for a virus except lots of love, fluids, and rest. So keep the lights low, turn on cartoons, and pray. ;)
-If you are a nursing Mama, KEEP NURSING! Even if your little one is throwing up, nursing is comforting and a great way to make sure they are staying hydrated during an illness. The doctors and nurses at the hospital when Calvin was sick were so encouraging and told me that I was saving him from being sicker than he already was.
-Your child isn't going to starve. Even if you're inwardly-or outwardly- freaking out that your kid hasn't eaten in days, just remember this: As long as your baby or toddler is having wet diapers, they are fine. Their appetite will come back in time. Remember how horrible it feels the few days after you have the flu and even the sight of food makes you want to puke?? They feel the same way!
-Follow the BRAT diet- bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. Calvin loves chicken soup, so we did that when his appetite came back too.
-Keep in  mind that this virus or illness is building an immunity in your child for future illnesses! Everything happens for a reason, even if it's making you insane.
-Clean, clean, clean! Kill those nasty germs and pray they never come back ;)

Calvin is such a healthy boy, and I know that these bumps in the road are all a part of parenting...I am glad I've learned these tips and I know it's not the last time I'll use them!